Labels

I discovered this post that I wrote a couple of months ago that I never published. So here it is...

I had the privilege of sharing my story at our annual Women's Retreat a couple of weeks ago. Many of the women there knew portions of it - my infertility, my father's illness, some of my struggles with depression, anxiety, and perfectionism. But I was much more vulnerable about the inner me than I have ever been in front of an audience.

I focused on the labels that I wear. Labels that either I have put on myself or adopted from others. It was quite the ordeal to prepare to speak and then to share.

I felt so blessed by the experience. It brought me back to working on my junk, listening to my heart, and reflecting on how far God has brought me and where I need to go next. It was an incredible experience to share with my friends - to connect on a deeper level and speak into each others' lives. I felt blessed to have touched others with my story - for them to hear bits of their stories within mine.

I am always amazed by how God weaves our stories into each others', providing us with meaningful fellowship and community, to learn from each other, to grow together, to challenge each other, and to love and laugh together.

The week after the retreat, I went through a downward spiral again - emotional and physical exhaustion from the retreat coupled with yet more labels I was placing on myself. It is so tiresome to be me sometimes - can I get a U2Me2 anyone?! But through that, God revealed yet another area of my life that I need to closely examine His truth instead of listening to myself.

I feel honored to be on this journey. I feel that the travel conditions right now are extreme - going from dry, dusty deserts to humid, suffocating jungles. But I know that the final destination will be worth it and I will appreciate my Savior's oasis so much more.

Thank you Lord for loving us. For loving us so much that you bother to refine us.