Failure is not fatal

I read something the other day in my Beth Moore, Believing God, bible study.  It struck a major nerve:

The words hoped for and unseen should quickly suggest that we aren’t likely to make an exact science of faith.  The less evidential nature of walking by faith rather than by sight has its obvious risks.  One of the inevitable questions each person challenged to believe God has to answer is whether she is willing to risk being wrong.  Faith may not be palatable to perfectionists for this very reason...One positive result of past failure is that you surrender the pursuit of perfection and if you’ve gained any sense, replace it with the pursuit of God’s redemption.  Nothing is more redemptive than faith in God.  You’ll learn that failure may be painful, but it’s rarely fatal.  After coming to grips with the high premium God places on our faith, I refuse to give up a life practice of believing God just because I accidentally swerve off the road a few times in my faith journey.  Hebrews 11:6 says that faith please God, not perfection.

...God never calls us to do anything for nothing.

Reading this was a sharp stab to me.  I struggle with perfectionism.  I struggle with the desire to be right, to appear right to others.  The idea of stating something was God and for it to be wrong is earth-shattering to me.  When I first read this, I honestly said to God, I’m not sure that I want to chose faith over perfectionism.  I DON’T WANT TO RISK BEING WRONG.

I am ashamed to admit that.  There have been times in my life where I clearly saw the direct hand of God working.  I have been a witness to miracles.  But when I go to share those miracles, I find myself questioning them.  I hesitate to claim experiences as the Holy Spirit working in me.  When I realize that, I am sickened and am scared that I am being blasphemous!  All for the sake of pride and my desire to be credible in the eyes of the world.

God, please forgive me for doubting your glorious works.  Forgive me for downplaying them.  Please give me more faith.  More confidence and belief in You and Your works.  Less desire for my own reputation.  Help me to desire faith first and foremost.  Help me to risk being wrong, to learn that failure is NOT fatal. 

Lord, you are awesome!  Your works are mighty!  You have shown yourself to be amazing, loving, gracious, awesome, powerful, and merciful in my life.  Help me to proclaim this from the rooftops without shame.  Help me to be PROUD of YOU, not myself.

I love you Lord!