Failure is not fatal

I read something the other day in my Beth Moore, Believing God, bible study.  It struck a major nerve:

The words hoped for and unseen should quickly suggest that we aren’t likely to make an exact science of faith.  The less evidential nature of walking by faith rather than by sight has its obvious risks.  One of the inevitable questions each person challenged to believe God has to answer is whether she is willing to risk being wrong.  Faith may not be palatable to perfectionists for this very reason...One positive result of past failure is that you surrender the pursuit of perfection and if you’ve gained any sense, replace it with the pursuit of God’s redemption.  Nothing is more redemptive than faith in God.  You’ll learn that failure may be painful, but it’s rarely fatal.  After coming to grips with the high premium God places on our faith, I refuse to give up a life practice of believing God just because I accidentally swerve off the road a few times in my faith journey.  Hebrews 11:6 says that faith please God, not perfection.

...God never calls us to do anything for nothing.

Reading this was a sharp stab to me.  I struggle with perfectionism.  I struggle with the desire to be right, to appear right to others.  The idea of stating something was God and for it to be wrong is earth-shattering to me.  When I first read this, I honestly said to God, I’m not sure that I want to chose faith over perfectionism.  I DON’T WANT TO RISK BEING WRONG.

I am ashamed to admit that.  There have been times in my life where I clearly saw the direct hand of God working.  I have been a witness to miracles.  But when I go to share those miracles, I find myself questioning them.  I hesitate to claim experiences as the Holy Spirit working in me.  When I realize that, I am sickened and am scared that I am being blasphemous!  All for the sake of pride and my desire to be credible in the eyes of the world.

God, please forgive me for doubting your glorious works.  Forgive me for downplaying them.  Please give me more faith.  More confidence and belief in You and Your works.  Less desire for my own reputation.  Help me to desire faith first and foremost.  Help me to risk being wrong, to learn that failure is NOT fatal. 

Lord, you are awesome!  Your works are mighty!  You have shown yourself to be amazing, loving, gracious, awesome, powerful, and merciful in my life.  Help me to proclaim this from the rooftops without shame.  Help me to be PROUD of YOU, not myself.

I love you Lord! 

it's been a while.

so, it has been way too long since I have posted.

much has been going on - I have been coasting and not really engaging into a lot of the thoughts, lessons, struggles, triumphs that life has brought me this fall. I hate it when I go through seasons like this, but it is part of the way I do things, I guess.

another reason that I have been absent is that blogging can sometimes become more than just an obsession for me...it can be an idol in my life. i spent my days going through life and in my head, i am blogging about everything going on. not uncommon, I know. but when I fail to really live in the moment because I am too busy blogging that moment, or thinking about what others will think when they read about that moment, I know it is time to step back.

i have been wanting to start back up, but I am hesitant. i have spent way too much time blog surfing this week and I am not sure if I am want to blog for myself or for attention. i always have this desire to have pure motives, but I have to be honest that I live in a fallen world and I am a sinner. therefore, my motives will never be 100% pure. so I am cautiously stepping back into the blogging mode and we'll see if I can keep it under check.

Can Anybody Hear Me?

Lately I have really been struggling more with depression and anxiety. I feel burdened and overwhelmed by all the little things and the big things going on in my life.

During this time, my spiritual life has felt dry and routine. Have you heard that song by Meredith Andrews called, Can Anybody Hear Me? I heard it several weeks ago driving and her lyrics hit me as exactly where I was. Here are a few of those:

Can anybody hear me?

The silence is deafening

Why do you feel so far away...

I know that you can hear me...

Even though you seem far away.

And I know you're here with me...

nothing can separate me from your love...

A great song that has spoken to where I am at right now. There is a lot more to this story, but I originally started writing this post um...on 7/14 (yikes!) so I am just going to post it now. If you are dying to know the "rest of the story", you will just have to call me because after my next post, I am going unplugged for a week - no Facebook, no blogs, no emails, no TV.

BFF Scrapbook

So my BFF, Amber, just turned 30. (No jokes about me robbing the friend cradle people!) I had been planning to make her a scrapbook for over a year now. I'm glad I waited until the last week before her birthday to make it because I ended up switching directions for themes and loved the final choice I made.

I looked up all sorts of different songs about friendship and used the lyrics as my journaling. It was fun to find the songs and she ended up with a bonus soundtrack to listen to as well.

Love you Amber! Thanks for the great memories!

Here are a couple of my favorite layouts:

Sewing 101: Drew & The Bible Cover

Drew made this CUTE Bible cover for her mom's birthday. She continues to amaze me with her creativity and sewing skills.

Ella Bella

It is hard to believe that this picture was taken 2 years ago. It seems like yesterday when we were welcoming Ella Bella into our family.

Now she is a busy, vibrant 2 year old with a mind of her own! I miss you Elizabeth. Sending sweet Happy Birthday kisses your way...

***

ella bella

sweet

flirt

mischievious

beautiful

will we ever find a fella

good enough for our ella bella?

Sewing 101

I have the pleasure of teaching my best friend's two daughters, Drewanne & Lilly, some basic sewing skills. They are homeschooled by their mom and I get to be part of the curriculum! What an honor.

We started in January and have done a few projects. I am so impressed by how quickly they are learning things. It has been exciting for me since I have to figure out new things before I show them, and just simply understand the process more in order to teach it. So I feel like I have learned more than they have.

They are learning how to plan projects, pick out fabric, measure & cut, iron, and finally sew their projects. In some cases, they are learning to create their own patterns.

Here are the projects they have made thus far:

Drewanne

Look out for this one! She is a natural and with her independence and brave fashion choices, may be a future designer. I can't wait to see what she will come up with as she grows!

Lilly

So far, she enjoys ironing the most! And since she is good at it, you may want to consider hiring her for future ironing jobs. The thing I have enjoyed the most with Lilly is she is wanting to plan projects to make for others - matching skirts for Evie and Kate or presents for her friends.

Stay tuned to see what else these two create.