God and A Girl

This has been a long few months.  I've been feeling so disconnected from everything and then after our trip and my dad's latest episode, I started to spiral down into my pit of isolation and despair.  When I do that, I start to pull away emotionally from my family & friends.  Thankfully, I had a previously scheduled appointment with my counselor, Joan of Heart, and she helped me to understand that I needed some time for myself - to sort out all my jumbled thoughts & emotions.  That my frustrations and resentments were just symptoms of the overwhelming burden within my mind.

So yesterday, Amber watched Sam for me and the whole day was just God and a Girl.  (My title is stolen from Joy Whitlock's new CD).

The passages I read were ones that I had previously highlighted or underlined years ago in my college Bible.  I had just started reading them as a start to my day, but they turned out to be just what I needed.  They speak to me, they speak for me and say the things I can't articulate.  They are my prayer, my cry for help, and my praise.

Matthew 7:7-11

Matthew 6:34

Matthew 11:28-30

Psalm 138:3a

Psalm 139

Psalm 142

O Lord, hear my prayer,

listen to my cry for mercy;

in your faithfulness and righteousness

come to my relief.

Do not bring your servant into judgment,

for no one living is righteous before you.

The enemy pursues me,

he crushes me to the ground;

he makes me dwell in darkness

like those long dead.

So my spirit grows faint within me;

my heart within me is dismayed.

I remember the days of long ago;

I meditate on all your works

and consider what your hands have done.

I spread out my hands to you;

my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.

Answer me quickly, O Lord;

my spirit fails.

Do not hide your face from me

or I will be like those who go down to the pit.

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,

for I have put my trust in you.

Show me the way I should go,

for to you I lift up my soul.

Rescue me from my enemies, O Lord,

for I hide myself in you.

Teach me to do your will,

for you are my God;

may your good Spirit

lead me on level ground.

For your name's sake, O Lord, preserve my life;

in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble.

In your unfailing love, silence my enemies;

destroy all my foes,

for I am your servant.

- Psalm 143

Psalm 144:2

Psalm 145:13b

Psalm 146:6b

Isaiah 40:28-31

One of the things that spoke to me the most in those passages were the statements about God's character.  I can use those statements when I get visits from the sniper.  

God is always faithful.  

God always fulfills His promises.  

God is always near.

So when I start questioning myself - did I actually have time with God today, did He really comfort me or was it just my imagination - I can say YES HE DID!  He is ALWAYS with me and waiting for ME to initiate.  I don't have to wonder if He is there for me, or listening to me because His word confirms it.  I don't have to listen to the sniper's lies.  I have a choice if I want to listen to God's truth or the sniper's lies.  I can ask God to rescue me from the sniper's attack and He will!

Lord, thank you so much for loving me, for saving me, and for providing me Your Word so I can learn more about You to get me through the storm.